One Empty Chair: Make Your Own Chair

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Make Your Own Chair

You see, I was lying in bed early this morning, thinking. It was too early to get up, but too late to go back to sleep. So I decided I should make an "empty chair" for our front lawn. My wife is out of town for the weekend and I want to have it done and in place before she gets back tomorrow.

This will be a full size chair, made from pine boards-- 2 and 4 inches wide. Then I will paint it, then label it it--- something like PresO or Barack or something clever like that.

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YESTERDAY I BECAME A DEMOCRAT

A tale of a bad dream by RB

It was just so easy!

Now I can blame them for all the problems we have, but not have any responsibility myself.

Now I clearly know whom is the cause of all our problems.

And the solution is easy; take more from them and give it to me and all my poor downtrodden friends. After all they don't deserve it. They or their ancestors did not build their obscene fortunes themselves, somebody else did it for them. Now, all I ask is that they pay their fair share.

Now I don't have to worry about the future of our country. I don't have to worry about how we will pay for all of this. I know that as long as there are at least a few rich old folks around we can just tell them their fair share is higher than it was before. Or, if in two or three generations everything falls apart, well, I won't be here and others can worry about it then. So long as my friends get their entitlements now and I don't get asked to pay more, I am OK with what is going on.

Nobody talks about the fact that President Obama (now he is MY president) has seen his net worth increase by about $10 million since he started running for President in 2007. My President's tax rate is only a couple of percentage points above that Romney guy’s, but nobody is talking about that, thank goodness. Nobody is questioning MY President's wealth or how he got it. But I can sure talk about the wealth of their Presidential candidate. All of my new friends know that he is evil for having so much money.

Now I have two truly charismatic leaders ---- Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. They have only one, some upstart named Paul Ryan. They have Chris Christie too, but he hardly counts. But my leaders are the darlings of the media. And so is my first lady, Michelle Obama. Bill Clinton got in a little trouble when he was President, but when you are that good, people forgive you quickly. Besides, my new party isn't filled with a bunch of conservative old folks who don't know how to have a little fun, so it is easier for us to forgive and forget. (Secretly, a lot of my new friends fantasize about being Bill Clinton, but I don't think Hillary has anything to do with it.)

You know, there are just so many advantages to being a Democrat, I don't know why I did not do this long ago. Now I don't really have to think as much. My leaders do it for me. They tell me they will take care of me and my friends. And I believe them. I don't have to ask how, I just know it will happen. Democrats are like that.

Those Republicans, like I used to be, told me I had to think; that I had to make hard choices and that I had to remember what made our country what it is today. With them, I had to think about things like fiscal responsibility and national debt and actually telling people that they had to work for a living. Now all of that worry is gone. Someone else will do it for me and we can just continue on this long and winding road down into oblivion.

This road is so painless. I just love it. Blame the other guy. Give up a few freedoms along the way. In fact, the ditches along the road to oblivion are getting really full of freedoms we have been giving up, but not to worry.

But wait, I hear distant drumbeats. Is that a new revolution? It is those damned Republicans and libertarians, and other freedom lovers. They have not given up. They are coming to take back our country from my new friends. They are saying it is not too late yet. It is getting louder and louder. They are even asking me to come back.

I opened my eyes. It is thundering outside and I have just come back from a bad dream. Thank God. (Now I can talk about God again)