One Empty Chair: Ryan-Biden Debate

Friday, October 12, 2012

Ryan-Biden Debate

Hi to all of you out in cyberland

My name is Joe B and I am out to make a fool of myself in tonight's debate. I hope you like my teeth, cause I am going to show you them a lot tonight. All my liberal friends, including many in the media, will tell you that I won the debate at the end of the night. But much of the American public will conclude that they are not comfortable with having me only one heartbeat away from being president. I can just see ol' Barry (that is easier for me to say than Barack) squirming when he watches me trying to belittle young Mr Ryan. I will call Ryan my "friend" a lot and openly sneer when he is talking and shake my head and roll my eyes and even laugh out loud. (that is LOL to you kids under my age of nearly 70 out there.)

Then I will interrupt him and just generally try to get him rattled by my obvious superiority. I mean I am not just older, but I am wiser, and I have nicer teeth. The viewing public will get to see all that tonight. It is true that I am generally knowledgeable about most of the issues we will be discussing, but I am going to let my demeanor overshadow that. I am not going to be rude, but I suppose there will be those few on the fringe that will think I am.

The ones I really want to get to are the undecided voters....the ones we need to persuade to vote for me and Barry. They will see my obvious superiority over that young cub. I don't care if he does stay calm and on track. I don't care if he does have facts and figures just like mittens did when he debated Barry. My charm and good looks and nice white teeth will win them over. You just watch. So what if I am derisive and disrespectful. I am the king and everyone will know when I get done humiliating him. You watch. You will see.

If you don't like what you see tonight, you can just take your vote and go someplace else. I sure hope Barry appreciates what I am going to do for him after his dismal performance against Mitt Romney. I will get that Ryan kid with my smirk!! It is my ultimate weapon! He will just fold up when he sees that!!
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Epilogue

The BBC website said- "Mr Biden may have won on points, perhaps, but his manner may have put off some undecided voters.
He was stronger, more agressive, more certain of his position- but chuckled, smiled, laughed, grinned at his opponent in a way that was certainly condescending and some will have found irritating."

A number of polls after the debate gave the edge to Ryan, but Biden is credited with "doing his strategic job" of providing much needed energy to the Obama campaign.

Here is photo from politico.com.

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YESTERDAY I BECAME A DEMOCRAT

A tale of a bad dream by RB

It was just so easy!

Now I can blame them for all the problems we have, but not have any responsibility myself.

Now I clearly know whom is the cause of all our problems.

And the solution is easy; take more from them and give it to me and all my poor downtrodden friends. After all they don't deserve it. They or their ancestors did not build their obscene fortunes themselves, somebody else did it for them. Now, all I ask is that they pay their fair share.

Now I don't have to worry about the future of our country. I don't have to worry about how we will pay for all of this. I know that as long as there are at least a few rich old folks around we can just tell them their fair share is higher than it was before. Or, if in two or three generations everything falls apart, well, I won't be here and others can worry about it then. So long as my friends get their entitlements now and I don't get asked to pay more, I am OK with what is going on.

Nobody talks about the fact that President Obama (now he is MY president) has seen his net worth increase by about $10 million since he started running for President in 2007. My President's tax rate is only a couple of percentage points above that Romney guy’s, but nobody is talking about that, thank goodness. Nobody is questioning MY President's wealth or how he got it. But I can sure talk about the wealth of their Presidential candidate. All of my new friends know that he is evil for having so much money.

Now I have two truly charismatic leaders ---- Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. They have only one, some upstart named Paul Ryan. They have Chris Christie too, but he hardly counts. But my leaders are the darlings of the media. And so is my first lady, Michelle Obama. Bill Clinton got in a little trouble when he was President, but when you are that good, people forgive you quickly. Besides, my new party isn't filled with a bunch of conservative old folks who don't know how to have a little fun, so it is easier for us to forgive and forget. (Secretly, a lot of my new friends fantasize about being Bill Clinton, but I don't think Hillary has anything to do with it.)

You know, there are just so many advantages to being a Democrat, I don't know why I did not do this long ago. Now I don't really have to think as much. My leaders do it for me. They tell me they will take care of me and my friends. And I believe them. I don't have to ask how, I just know it will happen. Democrats are like that.

Those Republicans, like I used to be, told me I had to think; that I had to make hard choices and that I had to remember what made our country what it is today. With them, I had to think about things like fiscal responsibility and national debt and actually telling people that they had to work for a living. Now all of that worry is gone. Someone else will do it for me and we can just continue on this long and winding road down into oblivion.

This road is so painless. I just love it. Blame the other guy. Give up a few freedoms along the way. In fact, the ditches along the road to oblivion are getting really full of freedoms we have been giving up, but not to worry.

But wait, I hear distant drumbeats. Is that a new revolution? It is those damned Republicans and libertarians, and other freedom lovers. They have not given up. They are coming to take back our country from my new friends. They are saying it is not too late yet. It is getting louder and louder. They are even asking me to come back.

I opened my eyes. It is thundering outside and I have just come back from a bad dream. Thank God. (Now I can talk about God again)